“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Rumi
How tall are the walls you build around yourself? Why do you need so much protection? What will it take to heal your wounds?
It was freezing last night and my bedroom was still cold when I awoke. All I wanted to do was snuggle further into bed, hide out in my pleasant dreams and the warmth. But after briefly indulging my desires, I climbed out of bed, and walking into the center of my house, I was warmed by the brilliant, morning light spilling through the windows.
When life is rough, it is natural to want to hide out, build protective walls, and ignore the source of our pain; yet, if we do that for too long, it can become a dark cave from which we may never emerge. We learn to lie brilliantly to ourselves. We evade capture. And we become hard and defensive around the edges, so that the one thing that can heal us is unable to penetrate. Even the light needs a chink to pass through.
Wounds Are Valuable Assets
How do you deal with your most painful wounds? Do you build walls to protect yourself or do you see the pain as a sign something needs to be healed? Our wounds are some of our most valuable assets. They are the portals through which we can heal the pain that stops us from living our lives fully. We have to learn to dance with them in the dark so that we can dance with them in the light.
Have you ever had the experience that, when a small conflict arises, you suddenly explode or react in some way that is inappropriate to the situation? This is always a sign that a deeper issue has been triggered. It is usually a sign that, deep within us, there are unhealed, deep wounds struggling to reach the light. So, what can we do to heal these wounds?
How To Heal Your Emotional Wounds
Being present is the key. Has this happened before? When did it begin? What was the source of the original pain? There is always fear present with emotional pain, so I try to identify my pain so I can focus on it. Am I afraid I’m not loved? Am I afraid of losing someone or something I value? Am I afraid of being harmed? Regardless of how you identify the fear or don’t, the first step is to release it.
Releasing Your Fear
I take a deep breath, and as I exhale, I feel and/or visualize this fear leaving my body. I repeat this process until I do feel the fear released, then sit a moment with the peaceful quiet that appears after the release. Without the fear blocking my mind, I ask that this emotional pain be healed permanently, knowing that my wish will be granted.
Being Patient With the Process
The next step requires the most patience. The pain may be healed immediately. More than likely, though, I will be drawn to those experiences that will guide me through healing myself, and that is very empowering. Healing may come in many forms: a book, a person, a workshop, or technique. Over the years, I have found valuable guidance for healing in therapy, spiritual practices, support groups, healing techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique, affirmations, numerology, astrology, Medicine Wheel cards, and simple conversations with friends. If I’m drawn to it, I dance with it, and in dancing with it, I may be healed.
How Did You Help Create This Wound
This deep pain is the kind we don’t want to return, so it is also wise to become aware of the role we played in creating the pain. The answers are always within us. That is why it is important to be receptive, but not passive. We need to ask, “What did I do to help trigger this? What was my role?” Unless we can see the patterns in our behavior, we will repeat them. It is in this step of the healing process that therapy is most valuable. Therapists cannot change you, but they can help you understand your behavior and others. Only you can make the change once you understand what you need to do. Awareness is the key.
It is not always possible to identify our role in creating the pain, for sometimes it is the result of karma from past lives or that we are in a situation in order to learn a lesson. Still, as frightening as it is, we must be willing to be vulnerable—to let the light shine through our journey to understand how to dance the healing dance, the one that we choreograph for our own healing. Love the wound, then let it go.
What techniques have worked well for you in healing emotional pain? Please comment.
© 2012 Georganne Spruce